


Affirmations or Lies?

by anxiouslyfred



Series: Springtime Deceitber [21]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-19
Updated: 2020-05-19
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:41:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24271516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anxiouslyfred/pseuds/anxiouslyfred
Summary: Deceit knows when the others tell lies, even to themselves. He's been ignoring ones Roman says hoping that since they sound like affirmations they'll slowly stop being lies to Roman.Today he realises just how bad a choice that was to make.Set after the latest video
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Deceit Sanders
Series: Springtime Deceitber [21]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1712329
Comments: 1
Kudos: 74





	Affirmations or Lies?

Janus could tell when there were lies being said, and usually learnt them without finding the person, if only to decide whether the lie was beneficial to Thomas’s mental health before taking action. It was a simple thing that meant that the sides didn’t have to face all their issues at the same time.

For a while he’d ignored a few lies being said, regularly repeated actually, because while Roman didn’t realise they were true, in speaking them the chances were he might start believing them. Deceit had hoped that over time he’d stop hearing about them, that even if Roman carried on repeating them they’d begin to hold truth.

Instead each day they were ringing more and more as lies, and now there was no hint of truth to the words, despite the desperation Roman felt wanting to believe them. That was a landslide worse than the day before and probably meant Janus wasn’t the only side being notified that Roman was doing horribly.

Virgil was already glaring at the door, wrapped around Roman when he entered, wanting to work out what could make it right. “When did making Thomas practice self care turn into this, Dee? Self destruction didn’t seem to be your thing but you managed it fantastically!” Virgil hissed out, immediately ignoring the other after speaking, wiping away the tears and murmuring reassurances to quietly to be heard.

That made Deceit pause. He known, of course he had, that the words he lashed out with would have an impact, but not to the level he was witnessing. Of course the relationships of the mind-space were more complicated than Thomas knew, but what happened in videos usually was exaggerated, their emotions made stronger by being in the real world as far as they ever were.

But Janus had spoken forgetting about the lies Roman told himself, the lies he’d wondered how to help since they got together but thought, as Logan has claimed before, that the lies were self-affirmations that would change to truth on their own. He’d become the catalyst for the break, as well as a silent onlooker as Roman started to reach the point it was possible now.

“Self affirmations are meant to help people when they have low confidence.” He murmured, moving to kneel a short distance from the pair, knowing Virgil would probably attack if he did anything more.

“And need to be backed up and supported by the people around them!” Virgil shot back, “Not have all the attention and need for support get stolen every single chance that it could be given! Congratulations, you got heard, you got Remus introduced but at the cost of cutting Roman down to nothing because you wanted some fucking attention! And On top of that you and Pat have both been using Roman and trying to silence his own ideas with your own since I’ve started insisting on making mine be heard!”

Virgil broke off, immediately shushing and pulling Roman’s head to his shoulder when the other started sobbing harder. “We all need our chances to speak. The balance between us is what makes Thomas the wonderful person he is, but when the hell did we let Roman actually advocate for himself without you and Patton judging him for what each other was saying? Months ago it seems and you only turn up now because what? The feeling of lies grew too strong for you all of a sudden? I’ve been coming to check on Roman and try to help in what ways I can for a month now.” He was speaking more calmly now but there was still an anger there that Janus knew wouldn’t leave until they managed to help Roman feel better.

So he paused instead, wondering what might have made it get this bad, that could help them start. “Roman, what did you ask me with that look yesterday? After Thomas called you his hero?” He asked, hoping he was wrong about the miscommunication.

“If he was lying, it sounded like a lie, he looked like he hated me.” Roman’s voice was muffled, but he did turn his face from being buried in Virgil’s hoodie to look at the floor in Deceit’s direction.

“Sweetheart, no. I thought you wanted me to confirm it was truth. Thomas wouldn’t lie about that. You’re his hero. You always have been. He was just a little disappointed that you still needed to lash out and doubt that I was being honest after I’d been vulnerable around the three of you. That doesn’t make you any less his hero.” Janus moved a little closer, still not reaching out as Virgil frowned at the new viewpoint of what had happened.

“Why didn’t you say what you wanted yesterday?” He asked next, having focused too much on helping Logan after both sides had chosen to ignore or remain ignorant of the information he provided, and then on the giant frog.

Roman remained silent, shaking his head and hiding again even as Virgil tightened his arms. “You don’t win against Patton. It barely ever happens in those videos, so you have to talk him through with questions and try to understand before making your wants clear.” Virgil muttered instead, leaning down to nuzzle Roman’s hair. “He wouldn’t have gotten a chance to because Patton kicked off and you got involved before he ever had a chance to offer a suggestion where Thomas might actually listen to it.”

“After the split, when we were really young, Remus used to have afternoons like this.” Deceit commented, filing the explanation away and moving to a gentler topic. “He wondered what good was creativity if it would be rejected by everyone, even the other side of Creativity. He spent weeks trying to learn to like what Roman likes before I could help him understand that liking the bizarre things he creates still has a purpose for Thomas beyond the intrusive thoughts he cannot restrain.” 

He leant back on his hands then, staring at the ceiling. “Because seriously, none of us would exist without Creativity. You’re basically our cause for being, Roman, you and your brother. I’ve seen it so many time when one of the others has been lying to themselves over something, that the best solution wasn’t to call it out, but mention in a side comment something that you could get ideas from. Those ideas help us all so much because they give us ways to share that despite what Patton thinks about talking through emotions being a serious thing, actually help us communicate and cheer ourselves up together.”

“What?” Roman’s word was a whisper, and when Janus glanced down both sides were staring enraptured by his words. 

“Virgil used to lie all the time by exaggerating what could go wrong or how a frown meant someone hated him. I think Logan calls them cognitive distortions but really that’s just a fancy way of saying you deceived yourself. A sentence around you would have you telling whole stories about them that calmed and soothed Virgil and that’s just the first example I can think of.” He continued, moving closer when Roman held out his hand.

Roman shook his head though. “But Virgil hated, we didn’t - “ He tried to argue but the arms tightening around him made him glance back to Virgil.

“You always created amazing things. I just found your bolster and singing obnoxious. I didn’t hate you even back then.” Virgil explained, “And now I think I speak for both of us when I say we love you and want to help you love yourself more.”

Janus could only go with the tugging as Roman started crying again, though it looked happier, more hopeful than before and pulled him into the hug with them all.

Perhaps Deceit had failed to help his boyfriend when it was needed, but now he realised just how sorely he had messed up he was going to help Roman feel better, especially with Virgil helping too.


End file.
